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Deployment EFT for Kids
These videos are designed to address some of the difficult times and emotions that military families face when a member is sent on overseas deployment. You'll notice that certain videos will be applicable to different phases of the deployment experience. Please watch the Guide for Parents (right) which explains why these videos are most effective when used as a family exercise.
I clearly had the Afghanistan 6 month tour in mind when I created this series, but certainly the videos are applicable to all kinds of deployment or family-member absence. The great thing about tapping is that it addresses the feelings involved - as long as you tap while you have your particular circumstances in mind, you will notice results.
Deployment Videos:
Introduction for kids
Dad has to go away on a long Deployment
I'm worried about Dad, I've heard bad things about that place
Dad's going to miss out on a lot of special events in my life
Getting ready to go - everything changes even before he's gone
Saying goodbye to Dad
When dad's gone, things are different
When dad's gone, Mom is more stressed
When dad's gone, everything is still okay
Dad gets to come home for a holiday! HLTA
HLTA is over, we say goodbye again
After dad gets home, everything is different again for awhile
Fill in your own 'feeling' word: "I feel....."
Fill in your own event: "This ...... happened"
Introduction
"Dad has to go"
As soon as we know that Mom or Dad has to go away, a lot of feelings come up. It's not fun to think about Mom or Dad going away for a long time, and sometimes we are reminded of another time they had to go away, and we feel pretty upset.
"Dad has to go"
Copyright © 2009 Cora Rennie, Petawawa, ON
DISCLAIMER: Information on this site is not intended to and does not constitute medical advice, recommendation or counselling under any circumstance.
Note for TEENS: some of the wording in the videos may seem to be 'dumbed down' for kids, but certainly the technique isn't - it works as long as you tap, particularly as many frustrations and feelings are the same for all members of the family. As another option, try addressing your personal feelings and experiences with my other videos, which may have a bit more of a sophisicated feel.
Cora explains there is another video series with CJ and Flookie that better describes the tapping process. In these videos she'll use the words "Dad has to go" but if it's your Mom or Step-Dad or someone else in your family that is being deployed, just think about them as you tap...
IMPORTANT LINKS
"I'm worried about Dad"
"Dad's going to miss out"
There are lots of things that we want and need our parents to be there for us - from sports activities to school performances and birthdays and Christmas. Normal everyday things aren't that bad when Dad's away, but it's a big deal for him to miss out on such special things.
Just a caution in using this video - if you have been very close to something 'bad' happening to someone as a result of deployment, those feelings will likely come to the forefront as you begin to tap (either in yourself or your child).
At any time, with any of these videos, if you or your child should begin to exerience very intense feelings - just don't stop tapping. Continue to affirm that "somehow, I don't know how, but everything is still okay, even with all of these big feelings." Don't stop tapping until the feelings have dissipated. It's when you can address these very intense feelings that you'll notice the greatest benefit, but it is not recommended that you do so on your own. If you feel uncomfortable approaching this topic, either with yourself or your child, please feel free to contact me, and I can help answer your questions.
If you are more distanced from actual 'deployment' events, but your child has heard stories - either through school, or the news, etc - as you tap together, ask for the details of what exactly they've heard, or what they think the 'bad' part actually is, and tap using their own words specifically.
"Everything changes even before he's gone"
"Saying goodbye"
The dreaded day of goodbye is actually here, and it's very hard for everyone. The entire family is sad.
It's bad enough thinking about when Dad is going to be gone, but family life is affected long before he even leaves. The household is in upheaval as he prepares his kit, and everyone's emotions are in upheaval as well.
"Everything's different when Dad's gone"
"Mom is more stressed when Dad is gone"
Most military spouses know what 'single parenting' is all about, but that doesn't make it easier. The added workload, coupled with the emotional worry and stress can often be overwhelming. Please use my other videos to tap on these issues for yourself, then watch this video with your children to address how they may be feeling.
So now Dad's gone, and we're processing a lot of emotions as we try to get into a new routine. Mom has to do Mom and Dad stuff, and it's a big adjustment for everyone.
"Everything's still OK"
"Dad comes home on HLTA!"
In our household, the HLTA was a big 'positive' for us to all hold onto throughout the ordeal of deployment. In our case, we planned a big trip and the kids would say "Dad's in Afghanistan, and we're going to DisneyWorld!" The two were permanently linked together in their minds.
It's as important to tap on Really Really Good feelings as it is the Really Really Bad feelings. When you feel super happy about something, somewhere the shadow of how you feel without that something is still there. And simply, excitement can sometimes be as overwhelming as sadness. And if neither of these seem to apply to you or your kids - the act of tapping on happy feelings is the best way to affirm them - and stay happy.
This video confirms that yes, everything is okay even though Dad is gone. The family has developed their own routine and life feels more settled. Here we talk about keeping in touch with Dad in different ways, and that he still is 'around' - we can still hear his voice and see his face, and he can still comment on our hockey games and our progress in school.
"HLTA's over - goodbye again"
"Dad is coming home!"
Finally, the deployment is almost over. In this video, we tap for the excitement of Dad coming home, as well as the uncertainty. We know from experience that there is another adjustment period as Dad becomes part of the family routine once more, and everyone is trying to process all the feelings of the entire deployment experience.
After all that the family has been through, and finally having Dad home again, it can be very, very hard to say another goodbye.
"Dad's home, things are different for awhile"
"I feel..."
There are a lot of things your child may be feeling that aren't covered in these videos, or which are brought up but not completely resolved. Use the following two videos to tap through whatever else is going on. The first one addresses a specific feeling, while the second one is geared more towards stressful events that may have happened. Please contact me if after using these videos there still seems to be residual issues. I can advise some phrases or techniques that can help your child's specific circumstance.
When Dad first gets home, it's not always what we expect. He's tired and does things differently than what we are now used to. Everyone's emotional and sometimes cranky.
"This .... happened"
"I'm worried"
"Dad'll miss out"
"Getting ready"
"Saying goodbye"
"Dad's gone - everything's different"
"Dad's gone - Mom's stressed"
"Dad's gone - everythings ok"
"Dad's HLTA"
"HLTA is over"
"Coming home!"
"When he's home"
Guide for Parents
Disclaimer: Please take responsibility for your own health and well-being. EFT is not a replacement for counselling or psychological care. While EFT is effective in addressing all manner of emotional issues, please never attempt to deal with trauma on your own -
seek appropriate professional help.
