soothe
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Tips to Help
Identify Issues
Body Speaks: If you are tapping for pain or discomfort associated with a specific body part, ask yourself: "If that body part could speak what would it say?" "And who is that message for?" Take those answers/messages and use them as your set-up phrases for EFT. Whatever is bothering you, and wherever your body is hurting - those things are somehow connected. Learn how to interpret what your body is saying.
NOTE: aches and pains that you encounter through other activities like sports and exercise, massage, chiropractic adjustments, etc, can be windows to what's going on in your body. With this new kind of awareness, you'll find that instead of feeling frustrated at what your body is doing to you, you will see those aches and pains as clues that something is affecting you and you need to Tap.
The Challenge: We all tend to get caught up “in the moment.” Exactly as you are feeling that anger, stress, frustration, etc, give yourself a time-out, and tap it out. Once the intensity has dissipated, notice what comes up next, which is likely what you are "really" upset about. (ie, when I am angry at the kids, and tap on it, I discover that it has much more to do with other things that are going on with me, and nothing really to do about them - notice how your life changes when you begin to to tap your emotions before you "react" with your emotions.)
Follow the Thread: After tapping for one emotion, see what comes up next, and tap that. For example, if you are tapping for the "fear" of doing something, the next step may be "reluctance" of doing that thing, then the "apathy" of doing it, etc. Honour the process. You don't have to "dig" or "look" for stuff - whatever thought, memory, feeling, or word is there for you - no matter how strange or disconnected it seems - go there and follow it.
And when you think you've reached the "end" of it, go a step further and tap for the opposite - ie, the "joy" of doing that same thing you were scared of doing.
Opposites: When an issue exists for you, somewhere on some level, the opposite exists as well. On a grander scale, it is a function of balance, where there is light, there is dark, yin and yang, etc. For these purposes, it just means that when you really want to do or achieve something, there is likely a part of you that does not want to achieve it with equal intensity, ie. hidden fears of failure or even fear of success...
Even if (particularly if!) you don't see the truth in the 'opposite' of your issue, tap it anyway. Example: "even though I hate it when he treats me like that and how it makes me feel...." also tap for "even though I love it when he treats me like that because somehow I'm getting some kind of charge, or re-affirmation out of it..."
Positives: you can use EFT to acheive your goals. "Tap in" your positive affirmations. If you are new at creating affirmations, here are some pointers:
- Use present tense, to affirm that it is true now.- Use personal pronouns, ie, "I enjoy jogging" rather than "jogging is good exercise."- Keep it about yourself, ie, don't compare to others. - Use positives, ie, toward what you want rather than away from what you don't want- Keep it short and specificLearn more about affirmations: Louise L. Hay
Perfect Health: imagine yourself in perfect health, and notice the self-talk that comes up, all the "yes, but..." thoughts that may arise. (Effectively, this is a way of dealing with some of the causes of Polarity Reversal.)
Resistance: of any kind (including physical resistance in your tissues) is a sign of what needs healing. It may be that you feel resistant to doing something, or reluctant to say something. The more you do this work, the more sensitive you will become to how you are internally reacting to everyday things. You'll notice that some things you just take in stride, and others kind of "get" to you - use EFT to investigate why.
Review Each Day: Mentally, before retiring for the night, go through all the events of the day and tap for any emotions or judgements you may have had about yourself and others.
Scolding: Whether we are aware of it or not, all the times we felt "reprimanded" as kids had long-lasting effects. When we are young, we assume that everything has to do with us, and so we tend to internalize the reactions that adults have to us (particularly the adults we love and look up to.) When we are scolded, we believe it is because "I'm a bad kid" or "that adult doesn't love me anymore." These feelings and beliefs stay with us, and shape our reactions even as adults. Tap on the kinds of things you were scolded for as a kid. What memories do you have of getting in trouble - or perhaps did you see your brothers/sisters/friends getting disciplined, which might have scared you too? Sometimes its not the scoldings from parents, (because we expect it!) but from teachers, grandparents, coaches or other adults that affected us most greatly.
(NOTE: If you are a parent, or someone who interacts with young children - tap on yourself for any guilt that these concepts may bring up - regarding times you have scolded or reprimanded kids, and please remember that reactions of that sort (the scoldings) are somehow coming from our own fears and hurts, which is always forgivable.)
Imagery: There are many things we encounter in day to day activities that may bring up issues for us. Note when/if you get emotional while watching movies and TV, old home videos and photo albums, computer imagery, or even dreams. If you wake from a dream, there is no real need to decipher what the meaning is behind it all, simply tap for the emotions that they left you with, whether good or bad, and/or the people you were interacting with, no matter how "strange" that often seems to be! Also, read this article and how photos of yourself can be used to address key self-image issues. Tapping in front of a mirror can be used in the same way.
Other Senses: Sometimes more acutely than images, both sounds and smells can quickly trigger memories and the emotions associated with them. Surround yourself with the scents or music that bring up issues for you, and tap along...
Louise L. Hay: Incorporate EFT into this excercise from Louise Hay.
1. Brainstorming, write sentences about yourself starting with the words
"I should..." (Now tap for each of these "should" statements.) 2. For each sentence, ask yourself "why?"
(And now tap for these "reasons/beliefs" as well.) 3. Now rewrite each of those sentences, and replace the words "I should"
with the words "If I really wanted to, I could..." (Tap for each of these new sentences.) 4. And ask yourself "why haven't you?"
(Finally, tap for all of these "reasons/excuses.") As an aside, you may notice some correlation between this exercise by Louise L. Hay and the Judge your Neighbour worksheet by Byron Katie.
The Purpose-Driven Life: From this book by Rick Warren, ask yourself the following two questions and see what comes up:
"What are you pretending isn't a problem in your life?""What are you afraid to talk about?"Birth Stories: Probably one of earliest events that has the most profound effects on our subconscious is our own birth story. Obviously, you don't have conscious memory of this, but tap on your own story as it has been told to you. If emotions come up, tap on those also. If you are a parent, tap on the birth stories of your children, and all of your emotions throughout it, as well as what emotions you think your babies might have had. For an excellent resource on how to do this, as well as an audio link for tapping on miscarriage, please visit Deborah Donndelinger's site. Certainly, if there are any prenatal events that you know about, either while you or your children were in-utero, please tap for those as well. You might be surprised, after addressing Birth Stories, how your relationships may shift - either with your own children/spouse or with your parents.
Vaccines: Infant and childhood vaccines are universal experiences that we all have. Many kids have issues associated with vaccines, regardless if noticeable behavioural or health changes developed directly as a result of the needles. In the last few years, many concerns have come up regarding the use and contents of vaccines - this has established a certain fear and uncertainty in many parents. Tap for each vaccine you and your children have received and all related aspects.
Remember: “BIG” issues are no different than "little" issues. They are no harder, no deeper, no more resistant. It doesn't matter how long it has been with you, or how intense it feels for you, simply follow the sequence and tap it out. You may find it helpful to tap on the feeling that "this is such a big one for me."
We have thoughts that create big, small, easy, or hard, or that it will take time, or that it can't possibly happen quickly or easily... look to why those thoughts are there for you, and Tap.
"Also, part of the beauty of EFT is that you can begin with exactly what is presented
and the work will lead you, aspect by aspect, ever deeper into the root..."
Paul Cutright
"An example of a conflict of my own of this nature was my intense fear of losing my family connection if I became too successful and was away too much. On the other side - and there is always another side, an opposite polarity - was the fear of living a life without meaning or significance. I have been tapping for some time now on both sides of this polarity and am finding that doing so can bring about incredible transformational shifts. Paradoxically, rather than one side winning over the other, you end up finding an empowering alternative far beyond that of compromise and
either-or alternatives. " Steve Wells
"There is no time for the Universe and there is no size for the Universe."
The Secret
"Most of us have never allowed ourselves to want what we truly want,
because we can't see how its' going to
manifest."
Jack Canfield
Stop and ask:
"How am I
feeling?"
Copyright © 2009 Cora Rennie, Petawawa, ON
DISCLAIMER: Information on this site is not intended to and does not constitute medical advice, recommendation or counselling under any circumstance.
*Life* happens, as they say. You'll find that you never run out of things to tap on...
Write it down: as you are tapping on something, record other thoughts, memories, feelings, etc, that come up. Those issues are somehow related. By writing them, you don't have to try to remember them, and can stay focused, "tuned-in" to the current aspect. Address those additional issues once the original sequence is complete.
Scale 0-10: Rating issues on a scale of 0-10 is an inherent part of the EFT process, allowing you to guage your process, or when one particular aspect has been dealt with completely. You can take this further by asking yourself "How do I know it is a 9?" This tunes you into the physical characteristics that you associate with high levels of stress or intense emotion. You can tap on those physical indicators as well.
